Dear Haters, here’s a love letter for you

Dear Hater,

I hope this letter of mine finds you doing what you do best: harbouring hate and spreading it. You may wonder why this letter is addressed to you. You might even take a little flashback to the times you belittled me, made me feel bad about myself, made me feel unwanted and good for nothing.

So then why am I writing this letter to you? Am I trying to spread hatred? Is this me letting out my frustration and anger? No, why would I do that? when there is enough of it in this world thanks to people like you. I am just taking this opportunity to thank you. Let me give you a little heads up of what actually is the current state of affairs of my life. I can sum it up in a few words actually: I am living the most confident, fulfilling, positive and the most content life that I can have with you in it too. Life is much more beautiful today than it ever was. because I constantly have been fighting you and everything that tries to knock me down.

And I have you to thank for it all. Now, this has got you all worked up, I am sure. Thank you?! For what? For making me feel bad about myself? For making me feel petty and powerless? Well, the answers are, yes and yes! Through this letter I want to say, thank you for making me doubt my worth every time I looked in the mirror at myself. Thank you for all those sleepless nights that I spent crying on my pillows just at the thought of what would you think about me. My pillows know those nightmares better than I do, actually.

Thank you for always speaking those kind words that would wreak havoc in my brain and sink my heart to a point that it reached my stomach and started beating there. Thank you for making my heart beat in fear of what you would say next, every time I saw you. Thank you for showing me how demons exist in the form of humans and how they find sadistic pleasure in making people doubt themselves and their worth. How they find it utterly irresistible when someone rushes to the restroom, knowing that they have gone to relieve their hearts of the pain these demons have caused them.

Haters teach you to be grateful for the people you love, hard times teach to you be grateful for the times that are good, and God, well God teaches you everything you need to know.

Every time you made me feel that way, I would end up wondering, “How do you live with yourself?” “Do such humans even exist?” Thank you for having my head pop up the last question as it is because of you I realised that as much as I believe in angels (and believe me, I have met a lot of them), it pains my heart when I have to tell it to believe in Satan, too.

So thank you for opening up the other side of the world for me. But, I had my days of glory with you as well. My day of glory was when I decided to get better. Picked my self up to fight back the miseries.

Sometimes you won. Sometimes I had to cry and bear with you for days. But my glorious days outnumbered yours.

So I want to thank you for challenging me to a fight, every day. And even when I knew I would lose, the sheer strength your words gave me to give it back to you is enough for me to express my gratitude towards you. I know that it is harder for you to read on, but I urge you to give it a thorough read. Your presence made me fear things I shouldn’t. Your words were enough to open sealed wounds.

Every time when I questioned you or myself about what the reason for the hate was? It made me doubt myself all the more.

And eventually, I turned into something that I never imagined myself turning into. I turned from a girl, who was once so confident in her bones that she thought the stage was her playground, into a girl who feared to be confident because she feared to come on ‘too strongly’ for people like you to handle. You made me feel BAD about myself. Bad may sound like a childish word, but its effect is no childlike. It is like Chandler, from FRIENDS telling Richard about Monica, “You made my girlfriend think!” So that is what you did to me. Just when I had started to feel confident and positive about myself, you were the one to pull me down.

Now, feeling small and powerless is not a feeling I am not familiar with. Those two have been my companions since I started telling the difference between the good and the bad. But I overcame them all, only to realize that you were my first opponent waiting to fight me. But as they say, “God puts the biggest boulders in front of His strongest soldiers”. And this single line has not only been my Holy Grail since, but it has also increased my faith in the Almighty by manifold.

So you were the last boulder that I needed to carry with me. So in your pursuit of making me feel fragile with your weight, you made me realize my true potential. So again, thank you!

I end this letter with something powerful (I know you are not familiar with me sounding powerful) and with something for you to ponder upon. You may have won your battles with me back in the day, but it only goes on to show how threatened you felt every time I was around you.

You hate me for reasons that you shouldn’t have. Apparently, I belittle you. YOU just as an act of putting me down put yourself down, every time. You resorted to the one thing that cuts deeper than a sword: words. It is funny that if you look closely, ‘words’ when jumbled up, create a new word true to its nature of harming: ‘sword’. And boy, did you use it to its full capacity! You bashed me up so hard, that you forgot that you were creating a warrior and not a coward. So every time that venom spout opens, beware! You are making the antidote to an epidemic you started.

And of course, thank you for all these wonderful experiences that you have given me. I would not be the person that I am today without your help. And I pray to God to give you better sense so that you find better and many fruitful things to do with your life.

Good luck on your future endeavours not involving hatred and pettiness!

Yours truly,

Warrior.