Indian Women Are Constantly Made To Feel Guilty About Normal Things

Being a woman in India mostly has its cons. But isn’t that a common theme which runs across almost all the countries in the world? The problems faced by women in India are sometimes deeper than the Mariana Trench and higher than Mt. Everest. Bad analogy, I know, but you folks have to agree. For a moment, let’s focus on the most trivial of issues. As Indian women, we are constantly made to feel guilty about pretty normal things. Like sitting un-womanlike, simply wearing makeup, or wanting to pursue higher studies. These things are pretty normal, yet we are constantly made to feel guilty about them.

Now that I have your attention, let’s talk about these normal things a little more!

1. Having Periods

The most natural & common thing on this planet is this. Period(s). If you are a boy/man and you still don’t know about it, then I would request you to get out of the rock you are living under.

Having periods is a monthly affair, for which we didn’t agree to, honestly. The only time we are not chumming is when we are kids, pregnant, and when our menopause starts. And as common as it is, we are still made to feel guilty about it. Periods can last anywhere between 3 to 7 days. And the first two days are a potent combination of pain & agony. Mood swings are another common feature.

But whenever we have to buy sanitary pads, tampons, or even intimate hygiene wash, the items are sealed & packed like a gift in black plastic bags. And god forbid if you have to take a day off from your office/workplace, giving the reason that “you are chumming & in pain” doesn’t qualify as a reason enough to take leaves. That makes us feel guilty for having them in the first place.

2. For getting pregnant

According to many reports widely available online, companies do not wish to hire women because of pregnancy, to avoid giving maternity leave. In fact, during interviews, several women are asked about their plans for marriage & pregnancy. We are out rightly rejected because the company cannot grant us “maternity leave”.

Why are we made to feel guilty about getting married & having a child especially in a job interview? How is that a measure of our capabilities? Isn’t that the most normal thing that any woman goes through? For something as normal as this, we sure are made to feel realllllyyy guilty about it.

3. Inability to speak English

Traditionally, India has had a vast rural population. Most of our parents had migrated from villages & towns to cities,  to have a better life for us. But in that daily hustle, if there is one thing our mothers couldn’t learn, was how to speak in English.

The ability to speak English has become a yardstick to measure a person’s intellect. It is not only gross but also belittles a person’s ability to speak other languages fluently. This is what most women have to face in India. Linguistic chauvinists have made sure that a woman who can’t speak in English, must be made to feel guilty about it. What they tend to forget is that these women can speak better Hindi or their regional dialect. The language doesn’t matter, the ability to communicate does.

4.  Being compassionate

We are designed to be more compassionate than our male counterparts. Maybe because we are meant to play the role of mothers as well. But isn’t being compassionate a common human trait? Isn’t it the need of the hour?

Then why are women subjected to comments like, “Kya har insaan ke baare me sochti rehti hai?” or “Itni kya fikar karni dusro ki?” Why are we made to feel guilty about being compassionate? These casual comments might not mean anything at that moment, but we are constantly made to feel guilty about it.

5. Having an opinion

Well, this is the most normal thing, to have an opinion. And most of the time, we are subjected to a lot of guilt because of this. This guilt trip happens the most when you hold a contrary view. Patriarchal values run deep down and no matter how woke you are, a woman’s viewpoint is always considered to be at a lower pedestal than a man’s.

What can you do to improve this?

Be aware of what you speak & how you speak. Sometimes, the simplest words cut the deepest wound.

Remember, every day is an opportunity to evolve. Try not to make these mistakes. If you have made a mistake in the past, make amends and make sure you don’t repeat them.

And even though we are made to feel guilty of so many things, we are also equally grateful for all the men & women, who respect us. You know who you are, thank you!