What Doesn’t Sound Homophobic But Is Homophobic

A lot of the times we say homophobic stuff without even realizing it. It might sound okay to us but it could be rather insensitive and offensive. It might be a genuine mistake, however, it is important for us to know what to say and what not to say to queer people. Here are a few things that does not sound homophobic but actually are:

1. “I am not homophobic but…”

If someone begins their sentence like this, they are definitely going to say something homophobic and they KNOW that but they just don’t want to look like the bad guy. Next time someone says something like this, just tell them that they are, in fact, homophobic.

2. “I always wanted a gay best friend.”

The gay best friend stereotype arises from the countless number of movies and TV shows where the gay character is reduced to being just a sidekick of the straight protagonist. Which leads to the belief that having a gay best friend means you always have someone to go shopping with or someone you could invite to a girls’ night out. Asking someone to be your gay best friend is not only insensitive but it also makes them believe that they are nothing more than just their sexuality.

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3. “But you don’t look gay!”

One might think this is a compliment but trust me, it’s not. Not all queer people dress or present themselves in the same way. Just because someone doesn’t dress according to society’s stereotypes about gay people, it doesn’t make them “less” gay. Men don’t have to wear pink or sequined jackets and women don’t have to dress “like a man” to look gay. Fashion does not define someone’s sexuality.

4. “You’re so lucky you’re bi, you must be getting laid all the time.”

Say it with me, BISEXUALS DO NOT HAVE SEX ALL THE TIME. Yes, bisexuals are attracted to two or more genders but that doesn’t mean they have unlimited options and that they are sex machines. Sexual attraction varies from person to person and it’s important we respect that instead of calling them out for having “too much” or “too little” sex.

5. “Did you always know you’re gay or were you normal before?”

Being straight does not automatically translate to being normal. And queer people are definitely NOT abnormal. Comparing their past to their current sexuality is not okay and makes it look like you are invalidating their experiences as a queer individual.

6. “I am okay with gay people as long as they don’t hit on me.”

Straight people thinking all gay/bi people are into them and will hit on them is just… sad. And then they also get offended by it. Just make up your minds, please.

Also Read: 7 Queer Books to read for Pride Month

In conclusion, just keep these things in mind when you’re talking to queer people. Hating on them doesn’t make anyone look cool and badass. Let’s not give in to the homophobic norms of our society and try to make this a safe space for our fellow queer friends!