How Toxic School Culture Is An Enabler Of Patriarchy

The place that plays an integral part in molding us into the people we become is often toxic and an enabler of patriarchy.

School is a place where we spend the majority of our day as children. It leaves a lasting impression on our young minds. We not only learn how to solve math and how to read a map but we also learn how to conduct ourselves socially. School is a place that is expected to bring equality and uniformity. Unfortunately, this expectation is not always met.

Gender Stereotype- Sexism

It is essential young girls and boys explore their personalities in their teens. Unfortunately they are forced into certain stereotypical gender roles instead.

Girls are sidelined and boys are prioritized for all sports related activities. Sports like basketball and football are given to the boys. The girls are made to play games like badminton and throw ball. It’s absurd to think sports are assigned as per gender but it actually happens. The sports captain is most likely a boy, as with the flag or torchbearer.

The girls are judged and ‘Slut’ shamed for being good friends with the boys in their class. Whereas boys with many girl friends are considered cool and popular. Teachers ask for ‘strong boys’ to carry books for them. These are subtle statements but they leave a mark on the impressionable young minds. They put young boys and girls into molds which they don’t choose for themselves.

Also Read: How Feminism Doesn’t Mean Acknowledging Men Less

Gender stereotypes are one of the bricks that form the great wall of patriarchy. They define for an individual what they can or can not do depending on their gender. This basically means that boys and girls from the starting itself do not have an equal footing. Where feminism or equality of genders does not exist, there exists patriarchy.

Shamed for Femininity

7 out of 10 girls are called out because their skirt is slightly above the level of their knee. In schools where the uniform is salwar kameez, the girl’s dupatta has to cover her chest properly to avert the gaze of her fellow male classmates. The slightest hint of kohl in the eyes will mean they are trying to attract male attention and get labeled as inappropriate girls. Girls are taught early on that their bodies are sexualized so it is important to stay covered so as to not provoke men. If girls are taught that they are to be held accountable for provoking male attention, it passes on the message that males are not accountable for their actions.

Even the topic of periods is discussed in a classroom of only girls. The teachers will make special arrangements to have the boys sent out of class to avoid the topic of periods making girls feel it is something to be ashamed of. This is also why they grow up feeling periods are bad and use other terms to describe their period such as “that time of the month” and “I’m down”.  Girls get suspended from school if they have henna on their hands! Is punishing a girl for having henna on her hands more important than having her attend classes?

Toxic Notions Of Masculinity

“Be strong, boys don’t cry”, “Don’t be such a sissy”, “He’s behaving like such a girl” I could go on but I’m sure you get the gist. We ourselves must have used these lines without thinking. Have you stopped and wondered where they stem from?

The expectation of boys to be macho starts right at puberty. They are taught young to be strong and not to cry as crying is for girls. Aggression is more acceptable for boys rather than talking about their feelings. Why? Because it’s just not manly enough!

When Queer men and women talk about bullying, school often comes into the discussion. Boys who are effeminate during school are teased by peers and teachers alike. They are shamed and corrected for not being manly enough. This is the same as with boys who are friends with girls without the intention of getting into a relationship.

Need For Change

There is a dire need for change in the schooling system. We can expect to talk about patriarchy and feminism endlessly for years to come till we don’t make changes at the most basic level. Children are brought up in different cultural backgrounds at home. Having said that they spend the majority of their childhood and adolescence in school. This is where they need to be encouraged to grow in their own unique way.

It is the responsibility of the teachers and the school to impart gender-neutral teachings. Policing girl’s body or imposing masculine ideals on men is toxic. The teachers need to be more aware of their own gender stereotypes and ensure they’re not knowing or unknowingly enforcing them on the students. Teachers also need to understand queer students and treat them with equal respect. What may seem like small changes at the basic level of school will most certainly have major ripple effects in society as the children of today are the adults of tomorrow. Likewise a gender neutral environment at school will promote a feminist tomorrow!