Things you should not apologize for

There are times when apologies are due and times when they are not. You may not realize the number of times your mouth spills out the words ‘I’m sorry’. But you know what? You shouldn’t be. To apologize comes as an instinct to some of us even though we are not at fault. But giving in to that urge makes you appear smaller and timider than you are. 

Saying no

If you say no to something that you are not comfortable doing, you are respecting your limitations. Since when did being kind to oneself demand an apology?

Replace: “I can’t do this. I’m so sorry”.

With: “I can’t do this. Thank you for understanding my limitation”. 

Taking ‘me’ time

Stepping down to focus on yourself for a bit is perfectly alright. Think of it as recharging yourself, to give your 100% once again.

Replace: “I’m sorry, I can’t make it”.

With: “I can’t make it this time, I’ll be there next time!”

Establishing your priorities

If it’s important to you, it’s important to you. And that’s the end of the story. You should not have to apologize for having your priorities set out. 

Replace: “I’m sorry that I’m choosing to study instead of going out with you”.

With: “This test is really important to me, let’s plan for another day?”

 

Sticking to your morals

Your values are what make you. They define who you are. Sticking to your ground only makes you true to yourself. If anything, you would have to apologize to yourself for flouting those values.

Replace: “Sorry for being a party pooper; I don’t drink”.

With: “I respect your choice, however, I don’t drink”.

Saying the truth

As long as you’re not being brash, there is no harm in speaking the truth. You’re only saving everyone from some extra drama and heartache by being truthful.

Replace: “I’m sorry but I think you were being very rude to me”.

With: “I did not like the way you spoke to me earlier”. 

Your feelings

Your feelings make you human. They make you whole. Saying sorry for how you feel is like saying sorry that you exist. And they’re both a big NO!

Replace: “I’m sorry I don’t know why I always get so sad”.

With: “I’m trying to process my sadness and the reason for it”. 

Asking for help

You are only human, and it’s okay to have a slip-up once in a while. Asking for help does not make you smaller it shows your readiness to learn.

Replace: “I apologize for bothering you, can you show me how to solve this sum?”

With: “It would help me if you could show me how to solve this sum!”

Sharing your emotions

Oftentimes we feel like a burden on our friends and family when we vent to them. Think of it like this: would you want your friend to think like that when they needed someone to talk to? That’s what I thought. Sharing your thoughts and emotions helps people understand you better, and strengthen your bond with others. 

Replace: “I’m sorry for burdening you with this rant”.

With: “Thank you for listening to me, I feel so much better”.

Ending something toxic

If someone is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated, that is not your fault. You have no obligation to maintain relations with those who do not add value to your being. When done cordially, cutting ties with toxic people is always the right thing to do.

Replace: “I’m sorry but I can’t be friends with you anymore”. 

With: “I don’t think this friendship is good for me”.

Not responding immediately

You may feel like you are being selfish, but you’re not. You may not respond immediately, but you will when you can. You’re allowed to cut yourself some slack every once in a while. 

Replace: “Sorry for responding late”.

With: “I’ve been preoccupied these days, I hope you understand the delayed response”. 

Make your sorries count and don’t be afraid to be unapologetic when needed.