WHY MEN SHOULD STOP TRYING TO BE ‘MAN ENOUGH’
Whenever we talk about a man, we perceive him as a tough shell, emotionally isolated who can hardly be broken by anything. The society has a lot to expect out of a man. Everyone has said a lot about being a man, behaving like a man, what a man should be etc. Some of the common notions attached to a man are: A man should be strong physically, inexpressive emotionally, not cry in front of anyone, should be daring basically be a robot designed to do stuff but with no brains and no feelings. Clearly, men have to play a role given by others.
JUST A REALISATION: Have we ever asked men what do they really feel about not being able to talk thoroughly about anything to anyone? If they are pretending to be someone else? Do they hide the ‘real’ themselves? The roles they play in front of us whether reflect their behaviour towards others. So it is just generalization, that men should be perfectionists about being emotionally isolated, they aren’t supposed to be sensitive, they should be the breadwinners, shouldn’t cry out for help, nothing.
We have been around men who act all manly with extremely chauvinistic personas. Are they not human beings? Can’t they have liberation to feel something and then say it? This is insane, not all men can be emotionless, rough and tough robots for the4 society.
It is the stereotypical society and the pressures of it because of which they have to behave in a certain way, otherwise, they’d not be a man enough. So, they need to pretend for the sake of appearing ‘MACHO’ and ‘TOUGH’ to everyone. So that no one tells them ladki hai kya?
‘A PERSON’S BEHAVIOR SHOULD NOT BE RELATED TO SEXUALITY.’
Many put a cover-up and pretend to be strong when they are weak, tough when they are hurt, not say things they’re meant to say, stay confident when they feel insecure. But there are men who are not scared of saying what they feel. They come out accepting who they are because they are tired of pretending and it makes life exhausting. They want to be accepted the way they are but society accepts only the script given to them. Hence they are judged.
Hundreds and millions of things have been stereotyped about how a man and a woman should be. Well, it’s time that we should know that it is wrong, toxic and needs to end. How poor and broken is the definition of masculinity? Instead of teaching them about ‘manliness’, they must be taught to be a good human. A human who possesses love, kindness, softness, nurturing behaviour.
‘BEING A MAN’ is not about fighting, dominating, hurting instead it is about responsibility, sacrifice, care, protection, everything it takes to believe in yourself and others. Instead, men would rather die than to ask for help. Do they feel like losers when they approach anyone for any kind of help? But, on the other side, many men love to talk and make friends given they never talk real. If it’s about work, politics, sports and women, there is no problem in discussing. But if it’s about insecurities, struggle, fear of failure, they almost get paralyzed.
Men should stop hesitating and make a way out to share their failures or emotions to others or in public. This won’t make a fool of them instead they lessen the power of those insecurities by sharing them. Sharing would help in a lot of ways, might be the others would share too about them. As soon as one finds the courage to speak one’s heart out, the shame is gone.
To much of our surprise, a lot of men do massive gossip, have strange obsessions with beauty products, are conscious of looks, loves to bake and make (yum dishes), cry while watching movies. Isn’t that amazing? In today’s world, how can we forget that the best dishes served to us in hotels are made by our very ‘TALENTED MEN’. Not only they are restrained to hotels but also to make up rooms which are actually a girl’s true love. Many men have turned makeup artists, fashion designers who were thought a career only for girls and these men have been doing astonishing jobs in such fields.
But, still, there is a need for acceptance by the majority which will take time. Because they are told to steer away from hobbies that are considered feminine.
Especially, in India, so many dialogues appear mocking at them ‘Chudiyaan Pehen Li Hai Kya’ ‘Mard Bano / Be a Man’.
Boys helping mothers are tagged as Mama’s Boy, too girly. The society does not accept all these as ‘THE MANLIEST THINGS.’ Sometimes it’s they themselves who cannot accept their true selves. They have to struggle and wrestle with ego to show love, affection and emotions. Many men play a role which is ‘rejecting feminism’ but secretly waiting for the permission of acceptance and hearing by the other men around creating an instant transformation.
Can men redefine themselves to explore their hearts? Are you brave enough to be vulnerable? To reach out to other men when you need help? Are you strong enough to be sensitive? To cry when happy or sad? Are you confident enough to listen to a woman in your life? Will you be ‘man enough’ to stop a man from harassing other woman or talking about grabbing her ass?
So men amplify your energy in celebrating the longest journey of yours from head to heart. You all the real warriors. Because there is no such concept as ‘MANNING- UP.’
“THE WORLD OF HUMANITY IS POSSESSED OF TWO WINGS: THE MALE AND THE FEMALE. SO LONG AS THESE TWO WINGS ARE NOT EQUIVALENT IN STRENGTH, THE BIRD WILL NOT FLY.”