THE FLAWED INDIAN DATING SCENARIO!
The traditional India demands you to get married, have kids and then get to know each other.
The main concern of couples in India is not knowing each other the main concerns are Koi dekhlega toh? Ghar pe pata chal gaya toh?
Like many other things, Indian people have absolutely NO different perception of “dating”. It is considered as the forbidden fruit that once eaten will drive you away from anything that is important like family, academics or even your career. Indians especially the older generation has this impeccable tendency of assuming the fate of any romantic relationship. Romantic relationships especially the teenage ones are not received with an open mind because according to them, there is always something else to prioritize above dating. If you are a teenager, that would be academics and your career and if you are already working then it would be family or any other thing.
when it comes to how Indians receive dating, one can totally relate with the fact, “Kuch to log kahenge, logo ka kaam hai kehna”.
Relationships are thus viewed as a sense of haughty mockery and those who choose to continue anyway are labelled as purposeless strays who shall later regret their choice and possible failure. I mean how stupid is this? Assuming all of this just to make them drop the idea of ever dating.
There are tons of things that are fundamentally wrong with the Indian dating scenario in general. Few of them are listed below:-
DATING CONSIDERED AS A RESULT OF MISGUIDANCE:-
Dating in India (especially teenagers dating) is considered as an outcome of rebellious nature and misguidance. What Indians do not realize is that two people could have been dating just because they like each other enough to commit. Not everyone dating does that for fun, or as a result of misguidance. “Bhot bigad gaye/gayi ho tum!”, “Naam badnaam karne par tulli hui ho humara” etc etc.
A GUY IS ALWAYS EXPECTED TO PROPOSE:-
In India, guys are always expected to initiate. Guys who do not take a lead are considered spineless or stupid. The logic behind such an expectation is still uncertain but if I have to guess, I would say, this topic is much more deep rooted than we know. it is the years and years of men practising authority in every area possible that has led to women believing and expecting men to propose their feelings for them. Slow and steady developments could be seen in this area but its far from being over.
Girls could be heard many times saying this about their admirers, “Pehle obviously vo hi propose krega” . Trust me girls, it won’t demean your position in a relationship if you reach out first.
WOMEN WHO INITIATE SEEM DESPERATE:-
On one side guys hate that they always have to be the first ones to confess, but if a girl initiates, she is termed as desperate by many. There seems to be a difference in opinions of such guys. “Arre yaar vo to bhot zyada hi frank hogyi”. I mean grow up guys, clear your head and think. Is initiating first the right basis to judge a girl?
THE “BHAIYA” & “PAPA” PHOBIA:-
The evergreen reason why Indians especially girls are reluctant to give dating a try is the fear of “Papa” and “Bhaiya”. The typical Indian families reflect a patriarchy culture and papa and bhaiya are the heads of any family that exercise an illegitimate degree of control over freedom of others. “Papa/Bhaiya ko pata chal gaya to ghar se nikaal denge sachi!!!”
SHAADI.COM IS GOOD, TINDER IS BAD:-
Having a profile on shaadi.com is considered as that the guy/girl is serious because they are looking to get married. Your over cautious and society driven mummy ji and dady ji will happily accept you paying to look for girls to get married to, but try telling them that you use tinder and they will instantly lash on you about it. Not just your parents, but everybody, LITERALLY EVERYBODY will judge you for having a profile on tinder. “Kitna desperate hai yaar tu, tinder use karta hai!”
THIS ALL TIME NEED OF GFs TO BE WOOED AND PAMPERED:-
Indian dating works on an implied fact that a girlfriend need to be pampered and wooed all the time!! Not that it is wrong to show your girl affection or to pamper her but why discriminate? Even guys deserve a little pampering now and then. But instead of acknowledging that guys might want to be wooed, girls assume it is their “janm sidh adhikaar” to be swept of their feet by their boyfriends.
ACKNOWLEDGING DATING:-
In India, people have no concept of dating being an exploratory phase. For them the “I love you” phase is similar to dating. The fact that their peers start calling “Bhabhi/Jiju” to the one he/she is dating, proves it all. Some Indians even have a hard time accepting the fact that dating does not always necessarily mean that they are going to end up married. Also, it is kind of hard to ignore all those “no sense making”,” irritating to hear” endearments like “Babu, shona, sweetu etc etc” Something is severely wrong with people using such endearments.
THE STALKER SYNDROME- TAKING REJECTION WAY TOO HARD!
This type of syndrome is found mostly in guys. Not that I am patronising guys in anyway, but it is usually guys taking rejections way too seriously. The Indian males suddenly bring out the stalker within them and try doing everything that they think could get the girl to change her mind. In most cases, it doesn’t! From texting her again and again to stalking her wherever she goes, this syndrome has no limits and usually the rejected, wounded guy decides the limit which is crazzyyy.
“Itna kuch kia uske liye, fir bhi usne mujhe chodh dia”. Common boys, is it so hard to accept, she doesnot feel that way!?
Dating in India can be really tough because of how it is received, yet I am pretty confident that with time, perception of people about it will improvise. The modern world requires does modern thinking. Anyways just for the information “Most people are have been there, most people today get through the flawed Indian dating scenario and date.”
