THE RUN FROM SELF LOVE!

Self-love is not selfish; you cannot truly love another until you know how to love yourself.

What is about love that has us all on ropes and hopelessly blind to reason? Love is a bit of an enigma that is open to different interpretations. There is literally no theory to understand this dilemma. “Loving someone with everything” is a feeling that is too complex to be put into words. But does “Loving someone with everything” actually mean forgetting about one own self? Well, this is something worth wondering about.

If I say most of us, depend on our lovers to love us/ treat us the way we should love ourselves, will you simply without an argument agree to such a statement? When Charlotte in Pride and Prejudice said, “We are all fools in love”, I felt that. Isn’t it a universal truth somehow? When we fell in true love and not some petty infatuation, it consumes us. Every bit of our existence drowns in that strong emotion. So what is there to stop us from surrendering our existence to the person that we love? 

Nothing, absolutely nothing. While in a relationship, all the things you think you deserve, you start imagining being provided to you by your partner. The faith that YOU should have in yourself, you start depending on your partner to show in you. These expectations, which you should have from your own self, you start having from your partner. Is it right to depend on your existence in the hands of another person, who is just a human being like you? Even if you do not acknowledge it, but it is a fact that every relationship has an expiration date. Nothing lasts for an eternity.

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Do you do this? Pg. 208 in #thenectarofpain

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The point where you go wrong is, when you love somebody, you build a home in your partner. This home becomes your salvation and brings peace to you. Everything that you think you deserve, every detail of your survival, you depend that on this very home. you decorate it with love, care, expectations that you should have from your own self but instead, you have from your partner. And when he walks away, that home shatters to ground. Breaking free of all the love, care, expectations that once resided so safely in it. That is the point where it becomes tough to rise from the ashes of disappointment, even tougher to chalk out life without the person we love. Vaguely, you remember all the things that supposedly went wrong. But it isn’t of much help now, is it? 

I trusted somebody with the pieces of me, When he abandoned me, all I was left with was even smaller bits of my existence to collect.         

Not all stories end with betrayals or things not working out. But one needs to be prepared about all the possible outcomes right? I know, love is not something that you can plan about. But you can do your precious heart favour. Do not let go of everything that it deserves from you and only you. You cannot delegate that onto anybody else because your heart, needs a certain degree of self-love and care besides all the relationships and love it gets from others.  You owe your heart this much.

“I wish that you fall hopelessly in love but I also wish that this hopelessness does not become the end of you.”